If You Didn’t Get Pupillage…
Firstly, congratulations to everyone who secured pupillage this year. To those who did not: please do not give up.
From the age of 14, I wanted to be a barrister. But during a careers meeting at school, I was told my academic ability was not suited to the legal profession. Instead, I was encouraged to become a hairdresser because, apparently, “that’s what I was good at.”
So, I decided that if I was going to be a hairdresser, I would be the best one I could be.
At 16, I enrolled at the London College of Fashion, where my career began. By the age of 19, while completing my Level 3 hairdressing qualification, I was invited to become a lecturer, and I accepted. That role opened many doors for me: my work was published in Black Hair and Beauty Magazine, and I worked for a well-known brand. More importantly, it gave me invaluable skills and qualities that would later shape who I would become.
In 2012, I became pregnant with my daughter. At 22 weeks’ gestation, I was told she had a brain abnormality and that I should consider terminating the pregnancy, words no expectant mother ever wants to hear.
Against all odds, my daughter was born with right-sided hemiplegia and, although delayed, she reached every milestone. What she taught me was that not everything professionals say is set in stone. Inspired by her strength, I gave up the career I loved and began studying law when she was just seven months old.
One day during my law degree, while sitting in a lecture theatre discussing career paths, a lecturer confidently stated that it was highly unlikely Black and Asian students would go to the Bar. Hearing those words took me straight back to that careers adviser years earlier. Once again, rather than discouraging me, those comments strengthened my determination to succeed.
In 2015, our family suffered a devastating loss when my 26-year-old sister died during childbirth, leaving behind her birth-injured daughter. As a family, we shared the responsibility of caring for her while grieving an unimaginable loss. Through it all, I continued studying, supporting my family, and raising my own disabled child.
I watched my peers secure pupillage during the BPTC and often questioned how I would ever get there without legal experience. Deep down, though, I never fully let go of the dream. I knew I could do it , I just did not know how.
Then, in 2020, during the height of COVID-19, I secured a role with His Majesty’s Courts and Tribunals Service as a trainee legal adviser. By that stage, my hopes of becoming a barrister had started to fade. I wondered whether I should continue putting myself through the stress of applications when I could still contribute meaningfully to justice in another role.
I often questioned who would choose me: a Black woman in her forties, a mother, someone with average grades, from Southeast London.
But every day, sitting in the heart of the criminal justice system and observing advocacy firsthand, I began to realise something important. Although I may not have fit the “perfect” mould, I possessed something equally valuable: life experience.
After a close friend secured pupillage, she said something that changed everything:
“You’ve got this. I believe in you. You can do this. The Bar needs you.”
Those words reignited something in me.
That same friend encouraged me to seek mentorship, and through those mentors I repeatedly heard the same message: my experience was impressive, my people skills were exceptional, and I was someone clients and jurors could relate to. For the first time, I truly understood that I had something valuable to offer.
After months of mentoring and preparation, I secured a reserve place for pupillage. I was devastated. I waited anxiously for the call that would turn the reserve place into an offer but it never came.
Yet something had changed.
For the first time, I genuinely believed in my applications and had fully committed to the process. Reaching the reserve list showed me I was closer than I had ever been. I allowed myself time to process the disappointment properly, then I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and came back stronger.
I made a pact with myself: every day in court, I would study advocacy. I read the law, followed legal developments meticulously, and absorbed everything I could. I was also fortunate enough to meet an incredible barrister who generously gave up his time each week to mentor me.
I learned my unique strengths and worked relentlessly on my weaknesses. I researched chambers thoroughly and visited Crown Courts so I could draw upon real observations and experiences during interviews.
And eventually, I secured pupillage.
Was I an A* student? No. Did I attend the most prestigious university? No.
But what I did have was resilience, determination, and persistence.
So, if you did not secure pupillage this year, gather your feedback and take time to digest it. Allow yourself to rest. Seek out a good mentor through your Inn or professional connections. Continue building your experience and give yourself the time and space to prepare for the next cycle.
But most importantly, give yourself credit.
It is not a “no”; it is a “not yet.”
Your journey is still valid. Your experiences will shape you. Your story still matters.
You’ve got this. You can do it.
The Bar needs you!
